I'm a winner!

[mandragora]

No, I really am. Why, just in the last 2 days alone I've won two separate lotteries, one for $500,000 and the other for $700,000! Gosh, I'm now a dollar millionaire. Okay, not yet a millionaire by British standards, not with the present exchange rate, but it's just a matter of time, right? What with all these wins can another be far away?

There's only one problem.

I really can't remember entering either of these lotteries. Or, well, any lottery at all. I don't even do the National Lottery, aka 'Lotto', except very occasionally when I'm feeling charitable.

But, hey, free money, right? So, scanning the email notifications of my winnings. Hmm, one of them is apparently sponsored by Microsoft. 'Cos, the mighty corporation is known for its warm and generous personality... I'm sure the fact that Microsoft is sponsoring a lottery will be splashed all over its website. Hang on, I'll just go take a look.

Um, no.

Okay, but what about the other lottery? Well, there's a huge prize fund. Doesn't say who the sponsor is, though. Oh, but, hang on a minute. To claim I need to contact - in both cases - companies based in Holland. Apparently the money is 'sitting in a bank in London' in my name. But how do they know what that is? 'Cos in both cases they've written to me at the mandragora email address?

And how do I claim anyway? Oh I see, I have to give them details of my bank account. Ooooh, and I mustn't let anyone else know or else I'll be disqualified...

Ooops!

Do you think--?

Could it be--?

Oh God. Could it possibly be *gasp* a scam? Does this mean I haven't won a total of $1.2m after all...?

Is the Pope Polish?

Wonder how many suckers are gonna fall for this one?

I've obviously got onto some spam list as I've also been continously spammed recently by various variants of the notorious Nigerian help-me-get-several-million-dollars-out-of-an-account emails. Variants include some coming from Sierra Leone (more topical?), plus one which amused me the dependents of a deceased Nigerian lawyer who worked for one of the Shell subsidiaries in Nigeria. Thing is, one of my closest friends is a Shell lawyer who has worked on several major projects in Nigeria (her stories make fascinating anecdotes). Thoughts that went through my head on reading the email is that the perpetrators really don't know how much lawyers who work for Shell earn (the pay is good, but not that good) and it will be worth sending my friend the email to see if Shell might like to expend a bit of energy in tracking the perpetrators down. They've got the resources and would be doing the rest of us a favour.

Other things: HAPPY BIRTHDAY alsoa

And, this afternoon off to see pirate-slash. Yay!

Before, that. Work. Again.

Comments

[yonmei.livejournal.com]

Heh. I've had a couple of spam text messages to my phone, both of which tell me I've won £1000s of pounds, I'm a Guaranted Winner - well, except for the tiny detail that I have to phone an 0906 number to find out how to claim. This is an excellent totally legal scam: they can charge outrageous amounts for calling the 0906 number, and many people will call it even if for only long enough to discover that the cost will be £5 a minute and the call will last 5 minutes. Those who last long enough to find out how to process their claim will probably discover that their prize is divided between everyone who called this number, which means the individual value of the prize is something like 1p: if you want to get your cheque, please leave your name, address, and postcode.

[mandragora1.livejournal.com]

So, um, not tempted then?

*g*

[yonmei.livejournal.com]

What's to tempt me?

No, what annoys me is how stupid these people think I must be.

[alsoa.livejournal.com]

No millions then? Shame. I've had several scams promising me millions if only I'll send them a cheque first to cover 'administration costs' Thank you but no.

Am veery jealous of the pirateness but family is busy making me a b-day cake so all is hunky dory with the world.

[mandragora1.livejournal.com]

Birthday cake sounds good and you know I'll be happy to go see the pirates again with you...