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mandragoraOne of my closest friends, who I have known for longer than I care to remember, has been going out for the past three years with a very lovely and very sweet Thai woman. She has had to go back to Thailand for an indefinite time due to family problems.
So, my friend and I have picked up our long-standing habit of going to the cinema together. He speaks to his girlfriend every day and mentioned recently to her the films that he and I are planning to see together in the future, telling her that he'd be going to see them with me, of course.
I suspect that in Thailand there aren't that many men and women who hang out together as friends. Therefore notwithstanding that the girlfriend:
(a) knows me and (apparently) likes me, and
(b) knows that I've known her man for many years pre-dating their relationship without the slightest hint of romance between us,
is worried that he and I are 'seeing' one another.
My 'friend', instead of pointing the above out to her (longstanding friends, been going to the cinema together for years etc) instead tells his girlfriend that she's got no need to worry 'cos I'm a lesbian.
"Ah," the girlfriend says, "I always thought so!"
I am vastly amused by this. I'm pretty far towards the straight end of the spectrum sexually, I think. I like looking at beautiful women but my reaction is usually one of wishing that I could look like that, rather than any wish to jump their bones. But hey, if it makes the girlfriend feel better I can be gay. It's not like I have to pretend to be anything I'm not as she already thinks that I am.
However, in revenge for my friend telling porkies (even if it was with the good intent of reassuring his girlfriend) I threaten to tell everyone that he's a sex addict. He points out that won't work because everyone already knows this. Alas, 'tis true.
Then I remember that he was playing squash with the senior partner of a certain law firm on Tuesday and that the senior partner injured his back during the game. So, I say that I'm going to tell everyone that the senior partner didn't injure his back during the game but that they're both bi (no one is going to believe that my friend is gay, not with all the women he's slept with), have been carrying on a torrid affair and the senior partner injured his back while they were having sex.
"Fine," my friend says, "just so long as you tell everyone that I was on top!"
Giggle. Typical straight man.
So, my friend and I have picked up our long-standing habit of going to the cinema together. He speaks to his girlfriend every day and mentioned recently to her the films that he and I are planning to see together in the future, telling her that he'd be going to see them with me, of course.
I suspect that in Thailand there aren't that many men and women who hang out together as friends. Therefore notwithstanding that the girlfriend:
(a) knows me and (apparently) likes me, and
(b) knows that I've known her man for many years pre-dating their relationship without the slightest hint of romance between us,
is worried that he and I are 'seeing' one another.
My 'friend', instead of pointing the above out to her (longstanding friends, been going to the cinema together for years etc) instead tells his girlfriend that she's got no need to worry 'cos I'm a lesbian.
"Ah," the girlfriend says, "I always thought so!"
I am vastly amused by this. I'm pretty far towards the straight end of the spectrum sexually, I think. I like looking at beautiful women but my reaction is usually one of wishing that I could look like that, rather than any wish to jump their bones. But hey, if it makes the girlfriend feel better I can be gay. It's not like I have to pretend to be anything I'm not as she already thinks that I am.
However, in revenge for my friend telling porkies (even if it was with the good intent of reassuring his girlfriend) I threaten to tell everyone that he's a sex addict. He points out that won't work because everyone already knows this. Alas, 'tis true.
Then I remember that he was playing squash with the senior partner of a certain law firm on Tuesday and that the senior partner injured his back during the game. So, I say that I'm going to tell everyone that the senior partner didn't injure his back during the game but that they're both bi (no one is going to believe that my friend is gay, not with all the women he's slept with), have been carrying on a torrid affair and the senior partner injured his back while they were having sex.
"Fine," my friend says, "just so long as you tell everyone that I was on top!"
Giggle. Typical straight man.
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no subject
Date: 1 May 2004 12:22 (UTC)*g* In the minds of some people, yes.
You mean we could have had a torrid affair at Christmas and you didn't tell me? Damnit!
Well, I am planning to come to Canada at some point so all is not lost! ;)
Your friend sounds like one of those people who thinks the shortest distance between point A and point B is to take a short cut over those hills in the distance, then ford a river, then clamber over some rocks to get to point B.
Giggling away here, because you've got him down to a 'T'!
Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Date: 1 May 2004 12:35 (UTC)*falls off sofa again*
*is ded from mandragora's gay*
Re: Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Date: 1 May 2004 12:44 (UTC)And. If you've got bruises tomorrow, serve you right!
no subject
Date: 1 May 2004 13:04 (UTC)Or, ya know, we could just hang out and look at the mountains and the ocean. That could be fun too, although it would scare my sister less and would therefore be a bad thing (when I mentioned to my sister a little while back that I was thinking of getting my hair all chopped off again, she more or less asked if I was coming out. Because obviously short hair = dyke. Ever since I've thought about giving her a heart attack by saying one of my female friends was my girlfriend, only since she already knows most of the women I know, opportunities have been limited thus far).
no subject
Date: 1 May 2004 14:17 (UTC)I'll try, although I fear that it may be a case of the blind leading the blind...
Mind you, it would be fun winding up your sister *eg*. I could be your long-distance lover. Plus, I've got the cropped hair going for me, so obviously I'll have no problem being convincing.