How not to sell
21 October 2005 20:21Just received a call from a broadband company.
Saleswoman: I'm from [company whose name I can't remember]. We'd like to offer you 8MB broadband speed.
Mandragora: Oh, well, I'm really not interested because I'm just about to be upgraded to 10MB. Plus, I need unlimited downloads. Do you offer unlimited downloads?
Saleswoman (ignoring question): Oh, but this is free.
Mandragora (raising eyebrow and drawling): *Really*. Permanently free?
Saleswoman: Well, no, but you get the first two months free.
Mandragora: So, not free at all then.
Saleswoman: Oh, but you can cancel after two months.
Mandragora: Yes, but what's the point? Why go through all that hassle and bother just for two months?
Saleswoman: It won't be any trouble at all, it can all be done through your BT phone line.
Mandragora: I'm not with BT, I get my phone through the cable company.
Saleswoman: Oh. Um, but this is free.
Mandragora: For two months only, yes, I heard you the first time. So, to sum up, you want me to pay for a service that is less speedy than the one I'll shortly be getting, *and* with limited downloads, even though I've already told you that I require unlimited downloading capacity *and* I'll need to change my phone to BT as well?
Saleswoman: But, you must not be getting very good speed.
Mandragora: I'm presently on 2MB, shortly to be upgraded to 10MB with unlimited downloads at no extra cost, and I also save on the telephone costs because my phone is cable also. Why would I want to switch to a less good service again?
Saleswoman: Er, have a nice day and goodbye.
Saleswoman: I'm from [company whose name I can't remember]. We'd like to offer you 8MB broadband speed.
Mandragora: Oh, well, I'm really not interested because I'm just about to be upgraded to 10MB. Plus, I need unlimited downloads. Do you offer unlimited downloads?
Saleswoman (ignoring question): Oh, but this is free.
Mandragora (raising eyebrow and drawling): *Really*. Permanently free?
Saleswoman: Well, no, but you get the first two months free.
Mandragora: So, not free at all then.
Saleswoman: Oh, but you can cancel after two months.
Mandragora: Yes, but what's the point? Why go through all that hassle and bother just for two months?
Saleswoman: It won't be any trouble at all, it can all be done through your BT phone line.
Mandragora: I'm not with BT, I get my phone through the cable company.
Saleswoman: Oh. Um, but this is free.
Mandragora: For two months only, yes, I heard you the first time. So, to sum up, you want me to pay for a service that is less speedy than the one I'll shortly be getting, *and* with limited downloads, even though I've already told you that I require unlimited downloading capacity *and* I'll need to change my phone to BT as well?
Saleswoman: But, you must not be getting very good speed.
Mandragora: I'm presently on 2MB, shortly to be upgraded to 10MB with unlimited downloads at no extra cost, and I also save on the telephone costs because my phone is cable also. Why would I want to switch to a less good service again?
Saleswoman: Er, have a nice day and goodbye.
no subject
Date: 21 October 2005 19:55 (UTC)no subject
Date: 24 October 2005 19:58 (UTC)