mandragora: (Default)
mandragora ([personal profile] mandragora) wrote2005-10-21 08:21 pm

How not to sell

Just received a call from a broadband company.

Saleswoman: I'm from [company whose name I can't remember]. We'd like to offer you 8MB broadband speed.

Mandragora: Oh, well, I'm really not interested because I'm just about to be upgraded to 10MB. Plus, I need unlimited downloads. Do you offer unlimited downloads?

Saleswoman (ignoring question): Oh, but this is free.

Mandragora (raising eyebrow and drawling): *Really*. Permanently free?

Saleswoman: Well, no, but you get the first two months free.

Mandragora: So, not free at all then.

Saleswoman: Oh, but you can cancel after two months.

Mandragora: Yes, but what's the point? Why go through all that hassle and bother just for two months?

Saleswoman: It won't be any trouble at all, it can all be done through your BT phone line.

Mandragora: I'm not with BT, I get my phone through the cable company.

Saleswoman: Oh. Um, but this is free.

Mandragora: For two months only, yes, I heard you the first time. So, to sum up, you want me to pay for a service that is less speedy than the one I'll shortly be getting, *and* with limited downloads, even though I've already told you that I require unlimited downloading capacity *and* I'll need to change my phone to BT as well?

Saleswoman: But, you must not be getting very good speed.

Mandragora: I'm presently on 2MB, shortly to be upgraded to 10MB with unlimited downloads at no extra cost, and I also save on the telephone costs because my phone is cable also. Why would I want to switch to a less good service again?

Saleswoman: Er, have a nice day and goodbye.
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[identity profile] mandragora1.livejournal.com 2005-10-24 07:58 pm (UTC)(link)
*g*

[identity profile] thermidor.livejournal.com 2005-10-21 09:44 pm (UTC)(link)
:) I can so hear you doing this! Lovely!

The other day a ohone sales person called & asked if laurakaye wanted to save money on her mortgage. I said, "No, she enjoys wasting money; she is a profligate whore." They laughed and hung up
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[identity profile] mandragora1.livejournal.com 2005-10-24 07:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, that's classic, great rejoinder.

[identity profile] moth1.livejournal.com 2005-10-22 05:34 am (UTC)(link)
I had a similar conversation with a man in Bombay about my mobile phone. They're probably desperate undergraduates trying to make ends meet and working from the same mad script! Colin gets a regular 'dose' from Serif, just because he bought something - once! Trouble is they ARE abroad and the telephone preference service can't stop them. Glad you were amused, though! I giggled off and on all week after mine!
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[identity profile] mandragora1.livejournal.com 2005-10-24 08:00 pm (UTC)(link)
*g* I think it's definitely better to laugh, and I do feel a bit sorry for them. It's not a fun job at all, and they definitely need a better script.