mandragora | But the children, who will protect the children?!

Current Mood: bitchy

But the children, who will protect the children?!

Prompted by the emergence of

fandom_scruples.

*Absolutely* we should protect the children from anything that might sully their darling little eyes. And ears.

I mean, look at me. All those Greek myths from the age of 5 onwards. Graduating to *gasp* Georgette Heyer at around age 10 or 11. And let's not mention when I was 13 and was the purveyor of smut in school. All those Harold Robbins and Jackie Collins I had stashed away in my school bag. (And if I'd known then about slash you can be damn sure I'd have had a stash of slash ready to hand out like smarties, too).

So, take my experience as a horrible learning lesson, oh children. Because, yes, it could happen to you too. After reading copious amounts of smut whilst underage you too could grow up to become... a lawyer!

The horror, the horror...

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Huh. That explains a lot about me.

*g*

See, see. Here we have living proof. Reading smut does corrupt the innocent!

Because, yes, it could happen to you too. After reading copious amounts of smut whilst underage you too could grow up to become... a lawyer!

I can confirm that this is true, because it happened to me, too ... ::sob:: Ah, what a waste of a young life ...

I know, I know. The tragedy of it all. *sobs*

Smut peddaling lawyers!

The horror!

Of course, we librarians have your butts beat at the porn pimping thing :)

Oh c'mon, you librarians have our butts beaten at the pimping anything thing... ;)

snigger

I'm all for more PG slash, hence PinkAsteroids" but unfortunately I also like writing in certain universes that weren't very 'suitable for children' before I added the sex.

See

yonmei's LJ for the evil hypothetical fic that will definitely get me blacklisted.

Gina

Gina

Oooh, I know, I know, re the incest. You could write Buffy/Dawn.

*beams*

Yay, indeed.

Gina

Aw shucks! I read heaps of smut at an early age and totally failed to become a lawyer...

'S all right, hon. I can personally attest that you've been totally corrupted anyway.

Naked angels in churches, statues of naked Greek gods, much of Michelangelo's work (David, gagh, phew)... What was my point again? Oh, right. But then, I ended up with a grad degree in philosophy, and we all know about Socrates.

*shakes head*. Graduate degree in philosophy, huh. Says it all, really. More living proof that Smut Corrupts. Totally.

Now, I've written incest, but it was original character incest. So now I'm wondering whether that counts, and whether I ought to be on the blacklist. Or is it only HP fandom where incest is bad?

Ah, Jackie Collins. {nostalgic sigh} I remember lurking behind shelves in WH Smiths, trawling through JC books for the porny bits.

The best Sekrit Porn I had as a kid was in a Richard Adams book. He wrote a veeeeeery long fantasy novel, the name of which I've completely forgotten, where (in my hazy imagination) the heroine spends a lot of the book as a sex slave. Also, IIRC, one of the Dune books had a steamy page or two.

The best Sekrit Porn I had as a kid was in a Richard Adams book. He wrote a veeeeeery long fantasy novel, the name of which I've completely forgotten, where (in my hazy imagination) the heroine spends a lot of the book as a sex slave.

Oooh I know that one. I have it somewhere, although it's at my parents' house. And the heroine was a sex slave of sorts. She was a Gorgeous Peasant Girl, as I recall, who ended up as a slave. Can't remember the details now, save that the book wasn't very good.

Yes, the Dune books did have a few steamy pages. The Gor books (I was *young*, okay) had a lot more.

I think it's only HP fandom where incest is automatically bad ;)

The big advantage of Maia (thanks, Tem) and the Dune books was that they were respectable fantasy and SF, therefore could be perused at will.

What, so are you saying that the Gor books weren't respectable? Hey, they were fantasy. Sort of. ;)

What, so are you saying that the Gor books weren't respectable?

Have you ever read John Norman's book about sexual fantasies? It's, well...definitely educational. Also very, very, very funny, in a way that I'm sure he never meant it to be. And, with it all, bizarrely sweet.

Have you ever read John Norman's book about sexual fantasies?

God no. Reading the Gor books was emough.

Also very, very, very funny, in a way that I'm sure he never meant it to be.

Giggle. Why am I not surprised? Given his views as to sexuality (there seems to be no room for any of the multiplicity of human expression in his little universe), that is.

Maia. My first introduction to all *sorts* of things. The temple statue and the broom handle particularly linger in my memory. And the ...

Maybe i'll just go find a copy. I think I lurked in the adult section of the library for nearly three evenings reading that. I wasn't old enough to borrow it.

Maia

That's it. And, until you reminded me, I'd managed to forget all about the broom handle *glares at Tem*.

Always ready to please with a smile and a helping hand.

Or broom.

The temple statue

!!!

I remember that! Metal! With an expanding, jointed... Yes, well.

I don't remember the broom handle, though. Wasn't there spanking at some point? I'm sure I remember spanking, and some weird carved statue thing that the spanking happened on. You know, I never quite looked at Watership Down the same way after I'd read Maia.

I think I need to find my copy too. I suspect it's in a box at my mum and dad's house, where I abandoned it once I graduated to proper porn :-)

I think there was spanking. And pretty much everything else except men on men action, and I'm not entirely convinced that wasn't in there *g*

Or, and nearly as bad, you could grow up to *know* lawyers!

The horror! The horror!

I regard it as punishment for reading all that smut.

God, that's a bit excessive!

I see what you mean.

Will no one think of the children??!!!??oneone!!11?

Reminds me of someone... Except it wasn't just me at my school... And I haven't graduated yet, and it ain't a law degree either...

it ain't a law degree either...

So, not completely damned then. Yet.

But I am an Arts student. At least it's a joint language...

But I am an Arts student

Better that than Law and Social Sciences...

Actually, the filth which I read as a schoolgirl (and you've forgotten Scruples and Lace (anyone for goldfish?)and all the other sex and shopping bonkbusters to say nothing of Kinflicks and Fear of Flying) paled into absolute insignificance compared to the riot of sexual perversity which I had to read through under the title of "case law" in the process of getting my law degree. R v. Collins. R v. Bourne. The one about the Welsh schoolgirl and her singing teacher ("making an aperture to correct your breathing"). That one involving the Canadian hunter and the corpse. Practically the whole of the interesting bits of Family.

I'm amazed that I could have forgotten 'Scruples' and 'Lace'. Hmm, actually, I'm not. Except for the sex scenes (and memories of the goldfish come flooding back) they were pretty forgettable.

And yes, I concur with the "case law". Generations of law students still snigger over those, I suspect. But then reality will outdo fantasy pretty much all of the time. In a non-sexual context I still remember reading with utter horror what criminal negligence entails (I'm thinking particularly of the bedridden woman who was meant to be cared for by her mentally subnormal relatives and what condition her corpse was found in).

I doubt very much that most fanfiction writers would use such details in even the most extreme 'out there' story because they're real and not at all sexy. Nauseating, rather.

Reading case law does tend to harden one. I suspect that I'm pretty nearly impossible to shock (although definitely not squick) and that I'm not alone. I still cherish fond memories of being one of a group of the lawyers at the City law firm I was with at the time who were asked to view some porn tapes that a German company wanted to sell in the UK for obscenity. Needless to say none of us felt 'depraved and corrupted', but then we wouldn't, would we...

Mind you, as you probably know, it's next to impossible now to obtain an obscenity conviction in London (and any other British city, I suspect) because the jury might not like what they see but they're not going to feel as if they've been corrupted as a result. Nowadays the police only attempt to bring proceedings of cases involving bestiality, 'unacceptable' violence (that goes beyond what is clearly fantasy material) and pornography involving minors. Anything else they won't even bother with.

(I'm thinking particularly of the bedridden woman who was meant to be cared for by her mentally subnormal relatives and what condition her corpse was found in).

The maggots writhing in her thighs? Yes. Whoever fandom_scruples is, she, he or it has a lot to learn.

But actually, he she or it is, has no concept - no concept whatsoever -

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But the children, who will protect the children?!

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::cowers::

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